Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 43F663FA07 for ; Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:54:25 +1100 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 18774-09 for ; Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:54:11 +1100 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=polyglot.com.au; Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5734C3FA06 for ; Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:54:06 +1100 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211); Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:54:17 +1100 Thread-Topic: Fathers Putting Children First Reply-To: Message-ID: <51f0501c62455$62810300$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcYkVWJ+HUAHDyZZRLCP+gR3kxTYLw== From: To: Subject: Fathers Putting Children First Date: Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:54:17 +1100 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_51F06_01C624B1.95F17B00" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.326 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 28 Jan 2006 21:54:17.0024 (UTC) FILETIME=[62837400:01C62455] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_51F06_01C624B1.95F17B00 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 178 - 23rd January,2006 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Fatherlessness & Family Law Reform Fiasco * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick =20 =20 In March 2005, the West Australian newspaper did an editorial on the state of family law reform with a particular expose on child custody cases and the unjust activities of the Child Support Agency. The West Australian was inundated with letters, emails and phone calls. The flood of interest and the enormous level of feeling within the community on the subject took the newspaper by surprise. =20 =20 Before we go any further, let me say that the Fatherhood Foundation believes that it is the father's role to support the children that he co-creates. However it is important to realise that the end does not justify the means. It is critical to treat those men and women who get divorced with respect and equality. It is also important to ensure justice for children, who through no fault of their own, get caught up in the heartbreak caused by divorce. The song by Eric Clapton flashes through my mind, 'Why does love have to be so sad'. =20 It would seem from the many letters to the 'West Australian' that the whole community is profoundly aware of the many injustices that await divorcing couples in our truncated family law system. Even Dr John Hirst, a well-respected academic and social commentator, who did an independent analysis of Australia's current family law system, said in his report, 'I cannot see the way by which the Court can be rescued. Until there is a fundamental change, it will continue to give offence. The Family Court is a monstrosity, a court of law that cannot, by its no-fault charter be a court of justice.' I will always remember talking to Dr Robert Kelso, a lecturer in ethics and public policy at Rockhampton University. Trying to understand the topic I asked him, 'What is exactly wrong with our current family law system?' Dr Kelso replied, 'The Family Law Court has been cut away from the rest of jurisprudence by Attorney General, Justice Lionel Murphy, who in his haste to bring in no-fault divorce and reduce conflict, brought in a 'new' system that led to even more conflict and even more injustice.' =20 Over the years, the Family Law Court has developed its own culture surrounding its 'one size fits all' policy of sole custody that no longer relates to the real world of families nor perhaps ever did. Mark Whitaker, who runs Family Advantage: www.familyadvantage.com.au based in Cairns, has been before the High Court a number of times as a self-defended respondent in Family Law Court matters. Mark spent some time with the Prime Minister, John Howard, a few years ago. When the Prime Minister asked him what was wrong with the Family Law system, his reply was, 'Nothing in theory. It has more to do with the administration of the law by the Family Law Court which is so riddled with anti-father bias; it is incapable of justice in its current form.' This is now so widely known amongst the general community that many prospective fathers are avoiding marriage and also avoiding having children. =20 To quote from Alex Bjelic in his letter to the West Australian last year, 'No wonder Australia's birth rate is in steady decline and the nation is ageing rapidly. Not that I really care. I will go on to enjoy my life to the fullest and go to the pub and drink with the crew without having to answer to anyone. Since I entered the workforce 15 years ago I have heard stories from men and women about marriage break-ups, custody battles and, worst of all, what both sides say about the CSA. The way the system works discourages me from marrying and having kids.! =20 =20 This is one of the many tragic outcomes of our dysfunctional Family Law system. Marriage is actively avoided and family formation is discouraged and Australia's population crisis gets worse. We must speak up before it's too late. =20 Lovework =20 Its time to speak up for positive change for children who are consistently being robbed of their fathers by a corrupt Family law Court system. We can be silent no longer. Within a matter of weeks the reform will be voted on by parliament. Please contact your local Federal member and State Senators and ask them to introduce to the reform package a presumption of equal access for children to their mothers and fathers in the event of family breakdown. The current Family law Reform package is fatally flawed as it stands. The Family Law reform fiasco cannot go unchallenged by the people of Australia. We must put our children first. =20 Yours for putting children first Warwick Marsh =20 ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is=20 the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in=20 age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician,=20 songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he=20 can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 =20 It is of fundamental importance that justice should not only be done, but should manifestly and undoubtedly be seen to be done. =20 Gordon Hewart =20 back to top=20 =20 Laughter Ordering in the Future =20 Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Makers. May I have your national ID number?=20 =20 Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.=20 =20 Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.=20 =20 Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.=20 =20 Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Homeland Drive, and the phone number is 3232 4242. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your mobile number is 0004 123 123 Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?=20 =20 Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?=20 =20 Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.=20 =20 Customer: The HSS, what is that?=20 =20 Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.=20 =20 Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.=20 =20 Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.=20 =20 Customer: Whaddya mean?=20 =20 Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.=20 =20 Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?=20 =20 Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.=20 =20 Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?=20 =20 Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.=20 =20 Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.=20 =20 Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.=20 =20 Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.=20 =20 Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.=20 =20 Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.=20 =20 Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your cheque account is overdrawn also.=20 =20 Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?=20 =20 Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.=20 =20 Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?=20 =20 Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.=20 =20 Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#=20 =20 Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?=20 =20 Customer: (speechless) =20 =20 Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?=20 =20 Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 litre of Coke..=20 =20 Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.=20 =20 Thank you for calling Pizza Makers.=20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Single Dads =20 =20 Until You Spread Your Wings by Tony Miller =20 Until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly.=20 =20 That's what I have displayed on the wall of my office. I am writing it here for all of you but especially my son Beau. He is in England at the moment spreading his wings and gee I miss him. 'I am going to conquer the world dad', he said as he was leaving. And all my hopes and dreams for him went with him. 'You know doubt will, mate. You know doubt will.' =20 I have just spent Christmas with my little boy Cass. It was our first Christmas together in six years, so it was very special for both of us. We had a wonderful time together, most of it spent in the pool. He talked a lot about missing his big brother. His little world has changed dramatically over the last few years. His mother and I divorcing. Him dividing his time between both. His brother going overseas. New people coming in and out of his life. He became a little sullen towards the end of our time together and when I quizzed him he said he was just sad that our time together was coming to an end.=20 =20 'How old do I have to be before I can make my own mind up on where I want to live?' he asked so seriously one day, as only as a ten year old can.=20 =20 'Where do you want to live mate?' I asked.=20 =20 'I want to live one week with you and the other with mum,' he said.=20 =20 'Well how about you think about that over the next 6 months mate and see if you still feel the same way,' I told him. Not that I don't want him 50/50, it's just that I want HIM to be sure of what HE wants. Not what I want. You see it's about our children, not us and sometimes that's hard to take. However you have to take it. They're our kids, they look up to us, and we have to set the lead. He is just spreading his wings and until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly. =20 I see many guys on my journey who have given up on the game of life often before the game has really begun. They become sullen and depressed because they feel life has turned on them. Life has dealt a cruel blow. Once they were married, had a family and now they haven't. What do I do? Where do I go? Sometimes they become embroiled in a tug of war over their children without ever asking the children what THEY want. Unfortunately often the children are used by warring parents as pawns, bargaining chips and are often denied contact with the non custodial parent, to the children's detriment. Often in this cloud of war the children themselves are forgotten in the battle. They stand there watching like they would a tennis match. Silent, watching and learning. =20 My almost 17 year old son doesn't spend a lot of time with me, nor does he with his mother. He is too busy doing what almost 17 year olds do. It's not cool to be seen at Maccas with either mum or dad. It's not cool to go the movies with either mum or dad. He wants to hang with his mates, he wants to do HIS stuff. And that's ok, he is just spreading his wings and until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly. =20 Recently I received a letter in the mail. It was from Lisa Curry Kenny MBE OAM, Chair of the National Australia Day Council. The letter (abbreviated) began: =20 Dear Mr Tony Miller,=20 =20 You may not be aware but you were nominated for the Australian of the Year Awards 2006 and I am writing to congratulate you on your nomination. The Australian of the Year Awards are our nation's pre-eminent awards recognising excellence and service by Australians in all fields of endeavour. The Awards acknowledge individuals who are inspirational and outstanding Australians. Being nominated for the awards is a great honour, and I hope you feel proud of the impact you are having in your community and the nation. Unfortunately your nomination was not successful this year however your contributions are significant and we are delighted to enclose a certificate to acknowledge your nomination. Thank you for making Australia a better place to live. =20 I sat there for some time after reading the letter absolutely stunned until emotion took over and tears were streaming down my face. I felt amazed, I felt proud, I felt unworthy, I felt humbled. You see, it wasn't that long ago where I was that guy who had given up on the game of life, before the game had really begun. =20 =20 Until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly.=20 =20 Tony Miller dids tmiller@nor.com.au =20 back to top=20 =20 Fatherlessness & Family Law Reform Fiasco Fatherlessness and=20 The Family Law Reform Fiasco =20 Part 1 by Warwick Marsh =20 The promised Family Law Reform by the Federal Government could be another case of re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, instead of plugging the leak to stop the ship going down. Many of the reform proposals, such as the Family Relationship Centres, are well intentioned, but unless they solve the fundamental problem they really become another layer of bureaucracy to waste taxpayer's money. =20 =20 In June 2003 the Prime Minister called for an enquiry into the need for a 'presumption of shared parenting'. In late 2003, the House of Representative's Standing Committee on Family and Community Affairs sidestepped the Prime Minister's original request, and came up with a nebulous concept of 'shared parental responsibility' and the need to direct divorcing couples away from the Family Law Court via an early intervention programme. In the latter matter, directing divorcing couples away from expensive, often fruitless and heartbreaking litigation procedures within the Family Law Court, the Committee's report was one hundred percent correct. =20 Fatherlessness has been shown to increase the likelihood of increased poverty, increased crime, increased incarceration in a prison, increased likelihood of violent sex crimes against women, increased drug abuse, lower educational performance, increased susceptibility to mental health problems, increased risk of suicide and increased likelihood of child sexual abuse. If Australia can increase the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible and committed fathers, we can begin to solve the problem of fatherlessness in Australia. Dr Bruce Robinson has estimated that fatherlessness costs Australia 13 billion dollars per year. The problem of fatherlessness calls for a broad range of both government and community based initiatives. The easiest part of the fatherlessness problem to fix, would be the reform of the Family Law Court. The introduction of a presumption of equal parenting whilst imperfect, is the best by far of all the bad options. Divorce will always produce a certain amount of fatherlessness and motherlessness which ever way the sums are done. The key is to find a way to ensure equality for divorcing couples, justice for children and reduce divorce at the same time. =20 The proposed 2005 child custody changes in the Family Law Reform package do nothing more than recycle the ignored 1995 changes. =20 'The Family Court got it wrong!' was the plain message by Minister Peter Duncan, as he moved the Keating government's 1995 amendments. In response to the Family Court's refusal to comply with the intent of the original legislation, Minister Duncan stated that: =20 "The original intention of the late Senator Murphy was that the Family Law Act would create a rebuttable presumption of shared parenting, but over the years the Family Court has chosen to ignore that. It is hoped that these reforms will now call for much closer attention to this presumption and that the Family Court will give full and proper effect to the intention of Parliament." (Duncan P. Consideration of Senate Message, House of Reps Hansard 21 November, 1995, pp 3303) =20 Strikingly, despite this further reinforced legislative directive from the Labor Party, the Family Court continued to snub its nose at the intention of this legislation, and joint custody orders in fact fell further from an already paltry 5%, to a further low of just 2.5%. =20 In his telling "Kangaroo Court" critique, the well respected academic and social commentator, Mr John Hirst, underscored the inability of Australian governments to fully grasp the extent of resistance to equal parenting initiatives from a Family Court with remarkably entrenched views. Of the recently proposed Family Law changes, Mr John Hirst stated that: =20 "Late in 2003, the standing committee reported its findings. It is not clear why it baulked at recommending that joint custody be made law. The committee itself seemed committed to the change; the bulk of the evidence it heard was in favour; the Prime Minister had given them the cue. Although not prepared to recommend it as law, it remained sympathetic to joint custody and in appropriate cases it urged that it be encouraged. Judges in Australia were to consider equal time!" =20 The same obstacles to anything resembling equal parenting time will be faced by this new legislation. It is a pointless exercise to ask the Family Court to 'consider' equal parenting time, when the whole culture of the Court is directed against such outcomes. back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly good enough . . . =20 So they can have grandchildren that are smarter than anybody!=20 Paul Harvey back to top=20 =20 All You Need is Love All You Need is Love =20 =20 "Why is it that people get married? Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet. What does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything! The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, All of it! all the time, every day.=20 You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed - because I will be your witness.'" =20 Wife in the movie, "Shall We Dance?" 2004=20 =20 I found this quote in www.smartmarriages.com . It struck me immediately as being profound. Sometimes I think to myself that Louisa gives my life meaning. Famous Australian novelist Partick White described his partner Manoly as "My sweet reason". Now I'm not saying that my life would have no meaning had I not met Louisa or I lost her. But her meaning in my life is meaning. I interpret my life in the context of hers and hers in mine. I am a pretty stong-willed, bull-headed man, despite what some critics think, and do not live my life tied to her apron-strings. But to see her face is like starting anew every time. I don't need a witness to prove I am alive. It's more like a presence. Like the Sun. You don't always notice it, but it's shining and warming all the time. My life with Louisa is different and better than a life without her, with someone else.=20 =20 (How can I tell? Because I have loved and lived with other women. Louisa was qualitatively different from the moment I first truly saw her. I saw her physically three or four times before my eyes were opened. Then I believe I saw her spirit. Spirit in me recognised Spirit in her, and Spirit danced with joy at recognising itself as in a mirror. It was a shattering experience for me. I remember a week after we collided, she went away for the Michaelmas Term vacation and I wondered around on the farm in a daze, thinking about her, as if I was making a momentous decision. I felt scared. Like I was about to enter some dangerous forest. The day she returned, I went to her residential college room and, as we rushed together to fall into a passionate kiss, I clumsily stepped all over her toes. This was portentious, because I literally, figuratively, and emotionally stepped on her toes by taking her for granted over the next 4 years, so much so that she left me soon after our first child was born... and thus began my dark night of the soul. And the journey towards writing Man Overboard.) =20 Taken from Michael Kiely's blogsite: http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com =20 =20 Free Offer of E-Book for Fathersonline Subscribers =20 'Man Overboard' by Michael Kiely is a breakthrough book, designed to help men rescue and renew their marriage relationships. Michael has been married for over 30 years, has three children and a background in business and marketing. He shares with his readers how he rescued his own marriage when it went into crisis mode. 'Man Overboard' is short (100 pages), filled with headlines, valuable insights and quotations and doesn?t beat around the bush. Warwick Marsh, founder of the 'Fatherhood Foundation' says, 'Every man should read this book if he is serious about staying married. It is easy to fall in love, but you have to fight to stay in love. Michael Kiely's book will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction. 'Man Overboard' will help to keep the 'love fires' burning, but beware, this book is only for the brave. The fainthearted should not read this book.! =20 To get your free copy of 'Man Overboard' (normally over $20), simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line. =20 Don't miss out. This offer will not last. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge=20 back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 =20 =20 Camp Connect for Dads, Kids and Family =20 More geat resources and Camp events.Download the newsletter below and camp registration: =20 http://www.campconnect.org.au/images/September2006Flyer&Reg.pdf =20 =20 _________________________________________________ =20 Marriage & Family Seminar =20 17 - 18th February 2006 =20 This nation rides or falls on families. How we respond to relationship issues is crucial. Whatever your status we all need God given instruction. This unique seminar will help you communicate within families, workplaces, the wider Body of Christ. For singles, couples and families. =20 Speakers: Michael & Alison Goode - Families For Life Australia Warwick Marsh - Fatherhood Foundation Bill Muehlenberg - Family Council of Victoria Danny Nalliah - Catch the Fire Ministries =20 To register your interest in attendance please phone: 9am - 5pm Catch The Fire Ministries Inc. PO Box 7427, Dandenong Vic 3175 Email: inquiries@catchthefire.com.au=20 Phone (03) 9794 8211 Fax (03) 9794 9311 www.catchthefire.com.au =20 __________________________________________________________ =20 CFS Luncheon =20 Warwick Marsh will also be speaking at 1 pm, Wednesday 15th February 2006 on 'Sexual Integrity, Fatherhood and Family Law Reform'. =20 This function will be held at the Theatrette, NSW Parliament House, Macquarie St, Sydney and is open to the public. =20 To RSVP please phone Jonathon Flegg on 02 9230 3340 __________________________________________________________ =20 =20 Joint custody bill advances in Italy Rome, Jan. 25 (UPI) =20 =20 The Italian Senate has approved a bill that expands custody rights of divorced fathers by making joint custody of children the norm in divorce cases. Supporters of the legislation said it will revolutionize the application of family law in Italy, the Italian news agency ANSA reported. =20 "Finally, both parents will have equal rights and responsibilities with respect to their children when there is a separation," said Justice Undersecretary Jole Santelli. =20 In 2004 judges gave the mother sole custody in 84 percent of divorce cases involving children. Fathers were granted custody in 6.5 percent of cases and joint custody was awarded in 8.8 percent of cases. =20 The new law, which ANSA said had bipartisan support in parliament, guarantees both parents the right to regular contact with their offspring. It also requires both to support their children financially and jointly make all important decisions on health and education. =20 If parents cannot agree on an issue, the law requires them to take the matter to court. =20 * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Says Morris Iemma, Premier of New South Wales, Australia, 'Bringing up kids is the most important thing a society can do. It's also one of the hardest.' =20 * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 From my point of view, strong reactions to my book, 'Man Overboard', are a good sign of success in the marketplace. I say to my clients: "Unless we are getting a good strong flow of complaints about your advertising, we have failed to create a blockbuster. The complaint factor is a failsafe indicative response accompanying extraordinary success. This is because the message is strong and forces people to take a stand. =20 So I welcome strong negative reactions. In this light I expect to receive more from the 30+ people who have responded to your invitation. =20 Michael Kiely michael@newhorizon.au.com =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Letter to the Editor The Advertiser ADELAIDE SA =20 Dear Editor =20 With the resignation of Western Australian Premier Geoff Gallop for alleged depression, the media has become saturated with experts making commentary on the illness and high profile celebrities offering their sympathies and good wishes. =20 Meanwhile, the fact that Premier Gallop's government, like Premier Mike Rann's, has been plagued by allegations of serious wrongdoing and even alleged corruption in almost every sector, especially within the courts, suddenly seems to have dropped off the public scrutiny radar. =20 Yet the resignations of Director of Public Prosecutions, Paul Rofe QC, and Minister Lea Steven are recent examples of public officials citing ill health and depression as the catch-all excuse for what many believe to be simply a culmination of public pressure brought about by many years of inept, dishonest or wrongful conduct in public office. From insurance and banking to investment scandals, many corporate executives across the country who have even been charged and prosecuted for fleecing the unsuspecting Australian public have used depression and ill heath as a defence for unforgivable malfeasance in high office. =20 Yet, in the midst of such pleas by the professionals for sympathy and understanding towards people who suffer depression, it is easy to forget that many people who genuinely suffer from depression can still go about their personal and professional lives in a manner that is characterised by integrity, honesty, care, compassion and social responsibility. It, therefore, does people suffering depression a great injustice to have the community believe that depressed people must, therefore, be dysfunctional or incapable of holding office. =20 It should serve as a warning to persons who would behave in a dishonest or corrupt manner that if they do so, there may come a day when those deeds will manifest themselves in an ultimate show-down between their ethical, moral and spiritual values and their physical and mental health. The things that weigh heaviest on one's heart and mind will always determine whether they can rise above the depression and ultimately recover, through personal development and spiritual growth. Perhaps some self-reflection now would do Premier Gallop a world of good. =20 Matilda Bawden 18 Quondong Ave PARAFIELD GDNS SA 5107 Email: matildabawden@hotmail.com=20 Mob: 0412 836 685 =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I realise that what I'm about to ask is probably not "what you do." But I have very limited choices at the moment and I'm turning to wherever I can. I have thought that your organisation could possibly assist me in someway.=20 =20 Several years ago, my father left, he and my mother had always been separated since I can remember, but that had never worried me. When he left, he married another woman, and started a family there. Since which I have had numerous therapies as this hurt a lot that he could leave and start a new family. I have suffered depression and each time I've broken through it's because I've found another way to try and contact my father, but as soon as this option is cut off again it sends me tunneling down deeper than before. I know this probably seems like a pointless email etc. etc. believe me, I've heard it all before. Same with the fact that I should just give up because obviously he doesn't want to be found. But there is something inside me that keeps driving me to find him, something that's missing in my life. I have a wonderful family, fianc=E9 and even a caring = stepfather. But for some reason, I just keep needing him... =20 I have tried so many ways to contact him, and I've read your website and your mission statement and I realise that this is not your specialty, but I would be so grateful if you could even direct me to someone who can help me to locate my father. I only know his basic details and the town that he lives in. I think even if I could just find him, even if he said he didn't want me, at least then I know, instead of wondering all my life. =20 I am very sorry for taking your time, and I hope that there is some way that you may be able to help me, or direct me to someone who can, but either way thank you for starting this organisation, it's really very helpful...I just wish I didn't feel let down every time your ad came onto television. =20 Regards SJ back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer Dear God =20 =20 Help me to make a stand for Australia's children who are robbed of their fathers by a court system that seems to hate fatherhood. I know that we men have made a lot of mistakes, but forgive us and heal us, so that we can bring restoration to our nation and to our children. Your dream is to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers to stop the curse. Help us make a stand for truth. We want justice for our children and equality for mothers and fathers. After all, you made children to have two parents, not just one. Help us to make the obvious the law. How much longer must our children wait? back to top=20 =20 About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! =20 =20 Mission Statement=20 The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. =20 If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_51F06_01C624B1.95F17B00 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 178 - 23rd January,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

 

In March 2005, the West Australian newspaper did an editorial on the state of family law reform with a particular expose on child custody cases and the unjust activities of the Child Support Agency. The West Australian was inundated with letters, emails and phone calls.  The flood of interest and the enormous level of feeling within the community on the subject took the newspaper by surprise. 

 

Before we go any further, let me say that the Fatherhood Foundation believes that it is the father's role to support the children that he co-creates. However it is important to realise that the end does not justify the means.  It is critical to treat those men and women who get divorced with respect and equality.  It is also important to ensure justice for children, who through no fault of their own, get caught up in the heartbreak caused by divorce.  The song by Eric Clapton flashes through my mind, 'Why does love have to be so sad'.

 

It would seem from the many letters to the 'West Australian' that the whole community is profoundly aware of the many injustices that await divorcing couples in our truncated family law system.  Even Dr John Hirst, a well-respected academic and social commentator, who did an independent analysis of Australia's current family law system, said in his report, 'I cannot see the way by which the Court can be rescued.  Until there is a fundamental change, it will continue to give offence.  The Family Court is a monstrosity, a court of law that cannot, by its no-fault charter be a court of justice.'  I will always remember talking to Dr Robert Kelso, a lecturer in ethics and public policy at Rockhampton University .  Trying to understand the topic I asked him, 'What is exactly wrong with our current family law system?'  Dr Kelso replied, 'The Family Law Court has been cut away from the rest of jurisprudence by Attorney General, Justice Lionel Murphy, who in his haste to bring in no-fault divorce and reduce conflict, brought in a 'new' system that led to even more conflict and even more injustice.'

 

Over the years, the Family Law Court has developed its own culture surrounding its 'one size fits all' policy of sole custody that no longer relates to the real world of families nor perhaps ever did.  Mark Whitaker, who runs Family Advantage: www.familyadvantage.com.au based in Cairns, has been before the High Court a number of times as a self-defended respondent in Family Law Court matters. Mark spent some time with the Prime Minister, John Howard, a few years ago.  When the Prime Minister asked him what was wrong with the Family Law system, his reply was, 'Nothing in theory.  It has more to do with the administration of the law by the Family Law Court which is so riddled with anti-father bias; it is incapable of justice in its current form.'  This is now so widely known amongst the general community that many prospective fathers are avoiding marriage and also avoiding having children.

 

To quote from Alex Bjelic in his letter to the West Australian last year, 'No wonder Australia's birth rate is in steady decline and the nation is ageing rapidly.  Not that I really care.  I will go on to enjoy my life to the fullest and go to the pub and drink with the crew without having to answer to anyone.  Since I entered the workforce 15 years ago I have heard stories from men and women about marriage break-ups, custody battles and, worst of all, what both sides say about the CSA.  The way the system works discourages me from marrying and having kids.!

 

This is one of the many tragic outcomes of our dysfunctional Family Law system.  Marriage is actively avoided and family formation is discouraged and Australia's population crisis gets worse.  We must speak up before it's too late.

 

Lovework

 

Its time to speak up for positive change for children who are consistently being robbed of their fathers by a corrupt Family law Court system.  We can be silent no longer.  Within a matter of weeks the reform will be voted on by parliament. Please contact your local Federal member and State Senators and ask them to introduce to the reform package a presumption of equal access for children to their mothers and fathers in the event of family breakdown.  The current Family law Reform package is fatally flawed as it stands.  The Family Law reform fiasco cannot go unchallenged by the people of Australia.  We must put our children first.

 

Yours for putting children first

Warwick Marsh  

 ________________________________________


Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 

It is of fundamental importance

that justice should not only be done,

but should manifestly and undoubtedly

be seen to be done.

 

Gordon Hewart

 

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Laughter

Ordering in the Future

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Makers. May I have your national ID number?
 
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
 
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
 
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
 
Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Homeland Drive, and the phone number is 3232 4242. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your mobile number is 0004 123 123 Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?
 
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
 
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
 
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
 
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
 
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
 
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
 
Customer: Whaddya mean?
 
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
 
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
 
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
 
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
 
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
 
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
 
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
 
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
 
Operator: I'm sor ry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
 
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
 
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your cheque account is overdrawn also.
 
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
 
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
 
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
 
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
 
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
 
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
 
Customer: (speechless)
 
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir? 
 
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 litre of Coke..
 
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.
 
Thank you for calling Pizza Makers. 
  

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Single Dads

 

Until You Spread Your Wings

by Tony Miller

 

Until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly.

 

That's what I have displayed on the wall of my office. I am writing it here for all of you but especially my son Beau. He is in England at the moment spreading his wings and gee I miss him. 'I am going to conquer the world dad', he said as he was leaving. And all my hopes and dreams for him went with him. 'You know doubt will, mate. You know doubt will.'

 

I have just spent Christmas with my little boy Cass. It was our first Christmas together in six years, so it was very special for both of us. We had a wonderful time together, most of it spent in the pool. He talked a lot about missing his big brother. His little world has changed dramatically over the last few years. His mother and I divorcing. Him dividing his time between both. His brother going overseas. New people coming in and out of his life. He became a little sullen towards the end of our time together and when I quizzed him he said he was just sad that our time together was coming to an end.

 

'How old do I have to be before I can make my own mind up on where I want to live?' he asked so seriously one day, as only as a ten year old can.

 

'Where do you want to live mate?' I asked.

 

'I want to live one week with you and the other with mum,' he said.

 

'Well how about you think about that over the next 6 months mate and see if you still feel the same way,' I told him. Not that I don't want him 50/50, it's just that I want HIM to be sure of what HE wants. Not what I want. You see it's about our children, not us and sometimes that's hard to take. However you have to take it. They're our kids, they look up to us, and we have to set the lead. He is just spreading his wings and until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly.

 

I see many guys on my journey who have given up on the game of life often before the game has really begun. They become sullen and depressed because they feel life has turned on them. Life has dealt a cruel blow. Once they were married, had a family and now they haven't. What do I do? Where do I go? Sometimes they become embroiled in a tug of war over their children without ever asking the children what THEY want. Unfortunately often the children are used by warring parents as pawns, bargaining chips and are often denied contact with the non custodial parent, to the children's detriment. Often in this cloud of war the children themselves are forgotten in the battle. They stand there watching like they would a tennis match. Silent, watching and learning.

 

My almost 17 year old son doesn't spend a lot of time with me, nor does he with his mother. He is too busy doing what almost 17 year olds do. It's not cool to be seen at Maccas with either mum or dad. It's not cool to go the movies with either mum or dad. He wants to hang with his mates, he wants to do HIS stuff. And that's ok, he is just spreading his wings and until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly.

 

Recently I received a letter in the mail. It was from Lisa Curry Kenny MBE OAM, Chair of the National Australia Day Council. The letter (abbreviated) began:

 

Dear Mr Tony Miller,

 

You may not be aware but you were nominated for the Australian of the Year Awards 2006 and I am writing to congratulate you on your nomination. The Australian of the Year Awards are our nation's pre-eminent awards recognising excellence and service by Australians in all fields of endeavour. The Awards acknowledge individuals who are inspirational and outstanding Australians. Being nominated for the awards is a great honour, and I hope you feel proud of the impact you are having in your community and the nation. Unfortunately your nomination was not successful this year however your contributions are significant and we are delighted to enclose a certificate to acknowledge your nomination. Thank you for making Australia a better place to live.

 

I sat there for some time after reading the letter absolutely stunned until emotion took over and tears were streaming down my face. I felt amazed, I felt proud, I felt unworthy, I felt humbled. You see, it wasn't that long ago where I was that guy who had given up on the game of life, before the game had really begun.

 

Until you spread your wings you'll have no idea how far you can fly.

 

Tony Miller dids

tmiller@nor.com.au  

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Fatherlessness & Family Law Reform Fiasco

Fatherlessness and

The Family Law Reform Fiasco

Part 1 by Warwick Marsh

 

The promised Family Law Reform by the Federal Government could be another case of re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, instead of plugging the leak to stop the ship going down.  Many of the reform proposals, such as the Family Relationship Centres, are well intentioned, but unless they solve the fundamental problem they really become another layer of bureaucracy to waste taxpayer's money. 

 

In June 2003 the Prime Minister called for an enquiry into the need for a 'presumption of shared parenting'.  In late 2003, the House of Representative's Standing Committee on Family and Community Affairs sidestepped the Prime Minister's original request, and came up with a nebulous concept of 'shared parental responsibility' and the need to direct divorcing couples away from the Family Law Court via an early intervention programme.  In the latter matter, directing divorcing couples away from expensive, often fruitless and heartbreaking litigation procedures within the Family Law Court, the Committee's report was one hundred percent correct.

 

Fatherlessness has been shown to increase the likelihood of increased poverty, increased crime, increased incarceration in a prison, increased likelihood of violent sex crimes against women, increased drug abuse, lower educational performance, increased susceptibility to mental health problems, increased risk of suicide and increased likelihood of child sexual abuse. If Australia can increase the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible and committed fathers, we can begin to solve the problem of fatherlessness in Australia. Dr Bruce Robinson has estimated that fatherlessness costs Australia 13 billion dollars per year. The problem of fatherlessn ess calls for a broad range of both government and community based initiatives.  The easiest part of the fatherlessness problem to fix, would be the reform of the Family Law Court.  The introduction of a presumption of equal parenting whilst imperfect, is the best by far of all the bad options. Divorce will always produce a certain amount of fatherlessness and motherlessness which ever way the sums are done. The key is to find a way to ensure equality for divorcing couples, justice for children and reduce divorce at the same time.

 

The proposed 2005 child custody changes in the Family Law Reform package do nothing more than recycle the ignored 1995 changes.

 

'The Family Court got it wrong!' was the plain message by Minister Peter Duncan, as he moved the Keating government's 1995 amendments. In response to the Family Court's refusal to comply with the intent of the original legislation, Minister Duncan stated that:

 

"The original intention of the late Senator Murphy was that the Family Law Act would create a rebuttable presumption of shared parenting, but over the years the Family Court has chosen to ignore that. It is hoped that these reforms will now call for much closer attention to this presumption and that the Family Court will give full and proper effect to the intention of Parliament."  (Duncan P. Consideration of Senate Message, House of Reps Hansard 21 November, 1995, pp 3303)

 

Strikingly, despite this further reinforced legislative directive from the Labor Party, the Family Court continued to snub its nose at the intention of this legislation, and joint custody orders in fact fell further from an already paltry 5%, to a further low of just 2.5%.

 

In his telling "Kangaroo Court" critique, the well respected academic and social commentator, Mr John Hirst, underscored the inability of Australian governments to fully grasp the extent of resistance to equal parenting initiatives from a Family Court with remarkably entrenched views. Of the recently proposed Family Law changes, Mr John Hirst stated that:

 

"Late in 2003, the standing committee reported its findings. It is not clear why it baulked at recommending that joint custody be made law. The committee itself seemed committed to the change; the bulk of the evidence it heard was in favour; the Prime Minister had given them the cue. Although not prepared to recommend it as law, it remained sympathetic to joint custody and in appropriate cases it urged that it be encouraged. Judges in Australia were to consider equal time!"

 

The same obstacles to anything resembling equal parenting time will be faced by this new legislation. It is a pointless exercise to ask the Family Court to 'consider' equal parenting time, when the whole culture of the Court is directed against such outcomes.

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Thought of the Week

 

 

 

 

 

Fathers are what give daughters
away to other men

who aren't nearly good enough . . .

 

So they can have grandchildren

that are smarter than anybody! 

Paul Harvey

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All You Need is Love

All You Need is Love

 

"Why is it that people get married?

Because we need a witness to our lives.

There's a billion people on the planet.

What does any one life really mean?

But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything!

The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things,

All of it! all the time, every day.

You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.

Your life will not go unwitnessed - because I will be your witness.'"

 

Wife in the movie, "Shall We Dance?" 2004

 

I found this quote in www.smartmarriages.com. It struck me immediately as being profound. Sometimes I think to myself that Louisa gives my life meaning. Famous Australian novelist Partick White described his partner Manoly as "My sweet reason". Now I'm not saying that my life would have no meaning had I not met Louisa or I lost her. But her meaning in my life is meaning. I interpret my life in the context of hers and hers in mine. I am a pretty stong-willed, bull-headed man, despite what some critics think, and do not live my life tied to her apron-strings. But to see her face is like starting anew every time. I don't need a witness to prove I am alive. It's more like a presence. Like the Sun. You don't always notice it, but it's shining and warming all the time. My life with Louisa is different and better than a life without her, with someone else.

 

(How can I tell? Because I have loved and lived with other women. Louisa was qualitatively different from the moment I first truly saw her. I saw her physically three or four times before my eyes were opened. Then I believe I saw her spirit. Spirit in me recognised Spirit in her, and Spirit danced with joy at recognising itself as in a mirror. It was a shattering experience for me. I remember a week after we collided, she went away for the Michaelmas Term vacation and I wondered around on the farm in a daze, thinking about her, as if I was making a momentous decision. I felt scared. Like I was about to enter some dangerous forest. The day she returned, I went to her residential college room and, as we rushed together to fall into a passionate kiss, I clumsily stepped all over her toes. This was portentious, because I literally, figuratively, and emotionally stepped on her toes by taking her for granted over the next 4 years, so much so that she left me soon after our first child was born... and thus began my dark night of the soul. And the journey towards writing Man Overboard.)

 

Taken from Michael Kiely's blogsite: http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com

 

Free Offer of E-Book for Fathersonline Subscribers

 

'Man Overboard' by Michael Kiely is a breakthrough book, designed to help men rescue and renew their marriage relationships.  Michael has been married for over 30 years, has three children and a background in business and marketing.  He shares with his readers how he rescued his own marriage when it went into crisis mode.  'Man Overboard' is short (100 pages), filled with headlines, valuable insights and quotations and doesn?t beat around the bush.  Warwick Marsh, founder of the 'Fatherhood Foundation' says, 'Every man should read this book if he is serious about staying married.  It is easy to fall in love, but you have to fight to stay in love.  Michael Kiely's book will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction.  'Man Overboard' will help to keep the 'love fires' burning, but beware, this book is only for the brave.  The fainthearted should not read this book.!

 

To get your free copy of 'Man Overboard' (normally over $20), simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com   with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line.

 

Don't miss out.  This offer will not last.  Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge 

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News & Info

  

 Camp Connect for Dads, Kids and Family

 

More geat resources and Camp events.Download the newsletter below and camp registration:

 

http://www.campconnect.org.au/images/September2006Flyer&Reg.pdf

 

_________________________________________________

 

Marriage & Family Seminar

 

17 - 18th February 2006

 

This nation rides or falls on families. How we respond to relationship issues is crucial. Whatever your status we all need God given instruction. This unique seminar will help you communicate within families, workplaces, the wider Body of Christ. For singles, couples and families.

 

Speakers:

Michael & Alison Goode - Families For Life Australia

Warwick Marsh - Fatherhood Foundation

Bill Muehlenberg - Family Council of Victoria

Danny Nalliah - Catch the Fire Ministries

 

To register your interest in attendance please phone: 9am - 5pm

Catch The Fire Ministries Inc.

PO Box 7427, Dandenong Vic 3175

Email: inquiries@catchthefire.com.au

Phone (03) 9794 8211 Fax (03) 9794 9311

www.catchthefire.com.au

__________________________________________________________
 

CFS Luncheon

 

Warwick Marsh will also be speaking at 1 pm, Wednesday 15th February 2006 on 'Sexual Integrity, Fatherhood and Family Law Reform'.

 

This function will be held at the Theatrette, NSW Parliament House, Macquarie St, Sydney and is open to the public. 

To RSVP please phone Jonathon Flegg on 02 9230 3340

 __________________________________________________________

 

 

Joint custody bill advances in Italy

Rome, Jan. 25 (UPI) 

 

The Italian Senate has approved a bill that expands custody rights of divorced fathers by making joint custody of children the norm in divorce cases. Supporters of the legislation said it will revolutionize the application of family law in Italy, the Italian news agency ANSA reported.

 

"Finally, both parents will have equal rights and responsibilities with respect to their children when there is a separation," said Justice Undersecretary Jole Santelli.

 

In 2004 judges gave the mother sole custody in 84 percent of divorce cases involving children. Fathers were granted custody in 6.5 percent of cases and joint custody was awarded in 8.8 percent of cases.

 

The new law, which ANSA said had bipartisan support in parliament, guarantees both parents the right to regular contact with their offspring. It also requires both to support their children financially and jointly make all important decisions on health and education.

 

If parents cannot agree on an issue, the law requires them to take the matter to court.

 

* * * * * * * * * * *

 

Says Morris Iemma, Premier of New South Wales, Australia, 'Bringing up kids is the most important thing a society can do.  It's also one of the hardest.'

 

* * * * * * * * * * *

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

From my point of view, strong reactions to my book, 'Man Overboard', are a good sign of success in the marketplace. I say to my clients: "Unless we are getting a good strong flow of complaints about your advertising, we have failed to create a blockbuster. The complaint factor is a failsafe indicative response accompanying extraordinary success. This is because the message is strong and forces people to take a stand.

 

So I welcome strong negative reactions. In this light I expect to receive more from the 30+ people who have responded to your invitation.

 

Michael Kiely

michael@newhorizon.au.com  

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Letter to the Editor

The Advertiser

ADELAIDE  SA

 

 Dear Editor

 

With the resignation of Western Australian Premier Geoff Gallop for alleged depression, the media has become saturated with experts making commentary on the illness and high profile celebrities offering their sympathies and good wishes.

 

Meanwhile, the fact that Premier Gallop's government, like Premier Mike Rann's, has been plagued by allegations of serious wrongdoing and even alleged corruption in almost every sector, especially within the courts, suddenly seems to have dropped off the public scrutiny radar.

 

Yet the resignations of Director of Public Prosecutions, Paul Rofe QC, and Minister Lea Steven are recent examples of public officials citing ill health and depression as the catch-all excuse for what many believe to be simply a culmination of public pressure brought about by many years of inept, dishonest or wrongful conduct in public office. From insurance and banking to investment scandals, many corporate executives across the country who have even been charged and prosecuted for fleecing the unsuspecting Australian public have used depression and ill heath as a defence for unforgivable malfeasance in high office.

 

Yet, in the midst of such pleas by the professionals for sympathy and understanding towards people who suffer depression, it is easy to forget that many people who genuinely suffer from depression can still go about their personal and professional lives in a manner that is characterised by integrity, honesty, care, compassion and social responsibility.  It, therefore, does people suffering depression a great injustice to have the community believe that depressed people must, therefore, be dysfunctional or incapable of holding office.

 

It should serve as a warning to persons who would behave in a dishonest or corrupt manner that if they do so, there may come a day when those deeds will manifest themselves in an ultimate show-down between their ethical, moral and spiritual values and their physical and mental health. The things that weigh heaviest on one's heart and mind will always determine whether they can rise above the depression and ultimately recover, through personal development and spiritual growth. Perhaps some self-reflection now would do Premier Gallop a world of good.

 

Matilda Bawden

18 Quondong Ave

PARAFIELD GDNS SA 5107

Email: matildabawden@hotmail.com

Mob: 0412 836 685

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I realise that what I'm about to ask is probably not "what you do." But I have very limited choices at the moment and I'm turning to wherever I can. I have thought that your organisation could possibly assist me in someway.

 

Several years ago, my father left, he and my mother had always been separated since I can remember, but that had never worried me. When he left, he married another woman, and started a family there. Since which I have had numerous therapies as this hurt a lot that he could leave and start a new family. I have suffered depression and each time I've broken through it's because I've found another way to try and contact my father, but as soon as this option is cut off again it sends me tunneling down deeper than before.

I know this probably seems like a pointless email etc. etc. believe me, I've heard it all before. Same with the fact that I should just give up because obviously he doesn't want to be found. But there is something inside me that keeps driving me to find him, something that's missing in my life. I have a wonderful family, fiancé and even a caring stepfather. But for some reason, I just keep needing him...

 

I have tried so many ways to contact him, and I've read your website and your mission statement and I realise that this is not your specialty, but I would be so grateful if you could even direct me to someone who can help me to locate my father.  I only know his basic details and the town that he lives in. I think even if I could just find him, even if he said he didn't want me, at least then I know, instead of wondering all my life.

 

I am very sorry for taking your time, and I hope that there is some way that you may be able to help me, or direct me to someone who can, but either way thank you for starting this organisation, it's really very helpful...I just wish I didn't feel let down every time your ad came onto television.

 

Regards

SJ

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Dad's Prayer

Dear God

 

Help me to make a stand for Australia's children who are robbed of their fathers by a court system that seems to hate fatherhood.

I know that we men have made a lot of mistakes, but forgive us and heal us, so that we can bring restoration to our nation and to our children.

Your dream is to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers to stop the curse.

Help us make a stand for truth.

We want justice for our children and equality for mothers and fathers.

After all, you made children to have two parents, not just one.

Help us to make the obvious the law.

How much longer must our children wait?

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading.

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